So now that I have a bit more time on my hands, I decided it’s time to clean out the storage unit my husband and I have had for over 15 years, sight unseen. And sifting through piles of stuff this week that I wasn’t sure why we stored for so long, I came across a manila folder labeled “ letters” and I was fuzzy what was in it. And there were handwritten and typed letters mailed to me from my Dad (living in California) when I lived in Tokyo in the late Nineties. And I came across one from 1997, 25 years ago. In my Dad’s usual style, he had some “small talk” about what’s new in California, talking about my Mom and Dad’s retirement as they approached their mid seventies, and all the great happenings in their community, and how my four brothers/his other sons were getting along. Mom was learning bridge again, they were enjoying golf, and singing choir. And then of course the “over the moon” updates on the grandchildren.
And then Dad started a new paragraph, a total non-sequitur:
“Well you are probably wondering what the fallout is from your news you shared with us when you visited a couple months ago…and we want you to know we love you more now, if that’s even possible, than we ever have, for sharing. I’m not sure who said it, but the phrase makes so much sense: ‘to thine own self be true’.
The happiest people I’ve seen in life are those who are truly themselves and are then in turn able to help others as well.”
Jeez. I needed to catch my breath again, after 25 years.
I know it seems like different times for many, but I don’t ever take the “acceptance” from my parents for granted to this day. In 1997 coming out was a big deal to everyone. And 25 years later, it’s thankfully less of a big deal to more people, but to so many it still is, having to make the leap of faith to gain “acceptance” when it should just simply be telling people who you are. And many are still in fear of the repercussions.
So reading this letter after 25 years…it’s important for me to remind myself to follow Dad’s advice and try to do what I can to help others as well.
“To thine own self be true”
—William Shakespeare, Hamlet, 1600-ish
A Letter from Dad in Storage
